Earwax
In response to the journalist who took a cheap shot (prior to my popular election to office) saying that "Rudd has his finger on the pulse - and his pulse is in his ear" - I was not doing what the camera said I was doing. For those not versed in the study of chemical compositions, 'earwax' as commoners refer to it, is actually 'cerumen' - a yellowish secretion (wax) from certain glands in the external auditory canal (ear), which acts as a lubricant and arrests the entrance of dust and insects etc. Very important stuff! And, in the interests of scientific advancement, the curious, probing mind may wonder what 'taste' a substance like cerumen might have. Chicken. It tastes like chicken. Waxy chicken. With perhaps the emphasis more on the wax than the poultry aspect.
Echidnas
These little critters are spine-covered insectivorous monotreme mammals and they are really as cute as all get out. Sort of like a sea-urchin with legs, a beak and a better temperament. The only disconcerting thing with monotremes ('mono' = 'one' & 'treme' = 'hole') is that they do Number Ones, Number Twos and Number Threes through the one orifice (i.e. pee, poo and the sex thing). If "cleanliness is next to Godliness" then there are no echidnas in Heaven. God, of course, in His infinite wisdom, deemed that humans are not tremes and I, for one, am happy He did. (see God)
Economy
This is the area down the back of commercial aircraft. The seats are smaller, there's less leg room, small bland meals are served with plastic knives and forks and I believe you often have to queue to use the bathroom. Hard to imagine for those up in business class really, but I guess not dissimilar to the national economy.
(PS: I have my own plane now.)
Edgar Britt
I once heard Paul Keating remark, "Now, wouldn't that give you the Edgar Britts?!" I nodded knowingly and nipped off to consult Wikipedia. I'm still none the wiser because apparently Edgar Britt was a famous Australian jockey who won fame in India and England. Someone told me it was rhyming slang but that can't be right because nothing rhymes with 'Edgar'.
Eenie Meenie Miney Mo
This is a very efficient way of delegating without offence and is especially useful when selecting people for leadership positions. Ask Penny Wong.
Egg & Spoon Race
The Egg & Spoon Race was once a 'novelty' event at athletic carnivals and it entails racing while carrying an egg on a small spoon. One can immediately see that this involves far more dexterity than simply running, without the added difficulty of being encumbered with egg and cutlery. I have a pennant from Nambour Primary School for this event (equal third!) and I don't see why this is not an official Olympic event. So much for those who say I'm not the 'sporty' type...
Email
This must be the best means of communicating since talking was invented. Better, in fact, because it is one-way talking, and I like that. Email Kevin@MrRuddcom.au.
Emus
These are Australia's flightless, three-toed birds and are related to the ostrich. Some scientists believe that they may not be flightless but, because off the size of their tiny brains, they haven't worked out that flying is what birds are meant to do. There is also a species of human 'emu' - this is a person who frequents racetracks to collect discarded tickets in the hope of finding one that will pay. Scientists believe that these 'emus' also have a tiny brain and are unaware that gamblers don't usually discard winning tickets.
Emu Parade
This is an Australian tradition to address littering and involves lining students up across a playground and having them move slowly forward picking up rubbish as they go. At Nambour Primary School they combined this with the Egg & Spoon Race and I recall that four of us were brave enough to ignore the litter!
Eyes Wide Shut
This Nicole Kidman film is NOT BMX Bandits (unfortunately!) It is rated 'R' for 'very Rude' and is not what you or I would expect from Australia's leading family actress. All I can think of is that Stanley Kubrick spiked her drink or that awful Tom Cruise cast a whacko Scientology spell on her or that she did it for the $15million dollars and gave the lot to charity. That's the type of woman she is. Nic handles the role brilliantly, of course, and doesn't need a stunt double for the nude scenes as opposed to some Hollywood actresses who employ 'stunt bottoms' with butts full of Botox.
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E
Earwax
Echidna
Economy
Edgar Britt
Eenie-Meenie-Miney-Mo
Egg & Spoon Race
Email
Emus
Emu Parade
Eyes Wide Shut
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