Rabelaisian
Named after Françoise Rabelais (1494-1553) whose work is characterised by broad humour and keen satire. And I'm happy to say it has been a while since I have seen any of that!! And please excuse any brevity that follows as, at the time of writing it is 2:35am and I have a lot on the agenda today. Therese said I'm in a mood. Well, we'll see about that!
Racecourses
Public ground for equine entertainment where 'punters' wage bets on horses fit for glue and return home whinging about how the cost of petrol and groceries has made their life miserable... but I assure you that the Labor Party will always be there for the 'working family' and will defend your right to squirt your hard-earned income up the wall no matter how thick you are (the Liberal voters reside in the Members Stand or the Owners Enclosure).
Rafferty's Rules
No rules at all really. A bit like watching Australian Rules for me. But I think John Wood deserved those nominated Logies for his role in the TV series of the same name. Sort of the Peter Costello of television drama. Stuff him.
Raglan
Raglan sleeves are tailored to make the sleeves continue to the collar. Named after Lord Raglan, who was in charge of the Charge of the Light Brigade. There have been many items of clothing in history named after famous people. When I was a teenager, I had a pair of shoes with a compass in the heel but these special shoes did not have an epithet. I think 'Rudd Shoes' (or 'Rudds') would work well. Who says lack of sleep leads to illogical thinking? Answer, Therese. And poo to you.
Railways
An excellent means of transporting passengers, goods or mail, except in New South Wales where they just don't work.
Rain
For the younger readers living in parts of Queensland and western New South Wales, 'rain' is when drops of water fall from the sky to earth. It may happen again in your lifetime but if you have any complaints, Penny Wong is in charge of that.
Rain Gauge
This is an instrument for measuring rainfall. For younger readers in parts of Queensland and western New South Wales it is that plastic thing on the side of the shed with numbers on the outside and dust on the inside. (see Wong, Penny)
Recession
Adverse economic circumstances that do not pertain to Australia and never will under my watch. If you are short of a quid, let me know. Together we can fudge our way through this Global Financial Crisis. (see Depression)
Recessional Hymn
A hymn sung at the close of a church service that heralds the fact the Sunday papers are but a short drive away (see Religion).
Red-back Spider
I sometimes think that being Prime Minister of Switzerland would be a dream, where the only nasty thing they can throw at you is a clock. In Australia we have all kinds of poisonous nasties thrown at us and they lurk in places you may not suspect. When forced to use a public lavatory, check under the seat... (and wipe the seat prior, and wash your hands post - cleanliness is next to Godliness. (see Religion)
Red Centre
It's red, it's in the centre of Australia and it's a tourist attraction. Not many residents, not many votes, so let's move on... Oops! As you were. Parts of the Red Centre are considered sacred to indigenous Australians, who have been entitled to vote since 1967, so if my unintended flippancy caused offence in any way, shape or form, I apologise.
I'm sorry.
On behalf of myself, I say 'sorry'.
On behalf of the Government, I say 'sorry'.
On behalf of the Australian people, I say, "sorry".
Redfern, Getting Off At
Redfern is the station before Central in Sydney. It is meant to be a sexual euphemism for not completing the journey. How would I know, I don't travel by train.
Redneck
Traditionally the constituency of the National Party and Pauline Hanson but we are making inroads. Aussie, Aussie, Aussie - Oi! Oi! Oi! (pass me a beer and see Bogans)
Red tape
Tape has to be used to bind documents, especially those presented by committees. Red is one of the better colours. Have you got a problem with that?
Reflex
Reflex - simply the finest brand of copy paper in Australia. Great value, great quality, great results! Make sure your office decisions are Reflex ones!! (For personal product endorsement email Kevin@MrRudd.com.au)
Rein, Therese
Pronounced 'Rain' as in 'rain' and "trays' not 'trees'. My wonderful and highly successful wife, whom I love dearly and to whom I owe a huge debt of gratitude. She may not look like Nicole Kidman (or have Nicole's fashion sense) but she is as cute as a button, as cuddly as all get out and worth an absolute motza. And without Therese by my side, I would look like a silly little pedantic, insignificant nerd, rather than the robust family man that I am. And a robust family man I am, who can live on little sleep with no apparent side effects. Gosh those cicadas are loud!
Rein, Gauge
For younger readers in parts of Queensland and western New South Wales who have been spelling challenged due to Regional Education Policy, it is that plastic thing on the side of the shed with numbers on the outside and dust on the inside.
Religion
This one has got me buggered (pardon the blue-collar terminology, but working families also attend church). Look... I attend. I sing. I pray. I think of lots of things while pretending to pray. I think of things while I'm singing and I sing of things while I'm thinking. This is church and God forgives. I shake hands with people and smile outside church after the service. Can't give going to church away. Can think of other things I could be doing instead. It's a complicated thing, religion. (see God) Come on Kevin - focus, focus! Bloody cicadas.
REM
REM is an abbreviation for Rapid Eye Movement, denoting deep sleep, which I have every night between 2:00am and 2:30am, whether I need it or not. REM is also a rock band that had a hit with a song called 'Losing My Religion'. Funny how alphabetically, Religion and REM fell into place together. God moves in mysterious ways. "That's me in the spotlight...etc" You can see why I'm buggered.
Republic
Who would have thought that the demise of a current monarch would be set in concrete as a policy?
Retriever, Golden
A lovely, affectionate breed of dog. We have one called Abby. She's asleep. So is everyone else. No wonder the world's a mess. All sleep and no work makes Jack a dull boy. And where's Jack when you need him? Making hay while the sun shines no doubt. A dull boy is as dull boy does but it is the quick brown fox that jumps over the lazy dog. You listening, Abby???!!!
Righteous Brothers
Okay, I listen to music when I work late or early or simultaneously. "And time goes by so slowly, and time can do so much..."
Rivers
Diminishing natural streams of water that can be lonely and are meant to flow to the sea, to the sea, to the open arms of the sea. God, I'm tired. For the younger readers living in parts of Queensland and western New South Wales, ignore - just enjoy chucking wheelies in the dirt. Lonely rivers sigh, "wait for me, wait for me, I'll be coming home, wait for me"... Why is it still dark? Hurry up!!!
Rotary
A worthwhile charitable organisation where comb-over accountants meet once a week, toast the Queen, chuck their loose change onto a plate and talk about sausage sizzles. Stuff them. They vote Liberal.
Rudd
In Europe, a 'rudd' is a freshwater fish belonging to the carp family. In Australia a 'rudd' is a special shoe that contains a compass in the heel. See, something achieved tonight!
Rude Awakening
Bugger off, Therese, I'm fine.
Things to do, so little time...
Sorry.
So sorry.
I'm good at 'sorry'.
"I need your love, I need your love, God speed your love to me!"
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R
Rabelaisian
Racecourses
Rafferty's Rules
Raglan
Railways
Rain
Rain Gauge
Recession
Recessional Hymn
Red-back Spider
Red Centre
Redfern, Getting Off At
Redneck
Red tape
Reflex
Rein, Therese
Rein, Gauge
Religion
REM
Republic
Retriever, Golden
Righteous Bothers
Rivers
Rotary
Rudd
Rude Awakening
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